Here's the thing, I like zombie movies and I've liked them a lot longer than you. I started liking them in a time long before they were popular, which makes me a visionary - just fyi.
Long have I planned my vision of the apocalypse and how I would be one of those resilient and solitary road travelers. If you do not like zombie/apocalypse movies, you'd be ill advised to continue reading. I'm about to discuss their concepts, at length, with myself.
Do you want to be one of the few survivors roaming the planet during the inevitable reign of zombie anarchy? Oh yeah? You do? Well guess what - you've got to have a well formulated plan or you gon' die. (pronounced yew gohn dahhhhh!)
First, you must pick your weapon. It has to be a particular brand of awesome, too. You can't just say "a gun."
You've got to add in some bells and whistles.
If you say "a gun" I will put you out of your misery. If you say "a sawed off double barrel shotgun with a silencer" I will high five you. I may even kiss you, if you let me.
Yeehhhhh behbeh. When I first saw this lovely creature in No Country for Old Men, my jaw dropped because the concept of a silencer for a double barrel shotgun, quite frankly, had never occurred to me. After seeing that, I strongly considered changing my post-apocalyptic arsenal. But alas, I'm too committed to my game plan.
I've invented in my mind the most magnificent hunting bow on the planet, which I refer to as THE RED HORSEMAN.
It is my excalibur.
Among the four horsemen of the apocalypse, I find the red particularly frightening. "Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make men slay each other. To him was given a large sword."
Or in my case, this bow. Or at least this bow if it were red.
However, it's just not enough to have a formidable weapon with a wondrous name. You have to think about ammunition, and that's why there's THE QUIVER OF PLENTY.
Picture this: you have one of the quivers above, and ooooh nooooooo! You are befallen by attackers, and ooooooh noooooo! You're about to run out of arrows! To most, this would be a problem. However, while my quiver looks like the regular quiver above, what it contains looks more like this.
You might be all, "A hunting bow? Why would she pick a hunting bow? How is that a sustainable weapon?"
I'll tell you how. It's this ridiculous Quiver of Plenty concept I've cultivated. It's a quiver that never runs out.
It NEVER runs OUT.
Dude, don't ask me why it doesn't run out. I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm the chosen one. Maybe because it's magical. No one knows the reason. All you need to know is that I have it and it's mine. And also, that no one else can wield either of them except me.
And if you try to steal it from me? You better believe it'll fry your hand off. Because it loves me!
In my mind I have this vision of the bow and quiver/arrows, laying in some forgotten about tomb below the surface of earth. Somehow in whatever madness the apocalypse has caused, in a state of terror I run down some tunnel and find a hidden entrance to a deeper tunnel, to a DEEPER tunnel.
(state of terror face)
Haphazardly I stumble into a majestic chamber, and that's where I find my weapons. And suddenly I'm decked out in garb befitting of someone about to OWN this particularly horrific period of time.
I can't divulge to you the rest of my plan, because if I do you'll all be scrambling to find me when the apocalypse is at hand. Just know that it's exceptional and that I will be filming it so that my story will become legend!
LEGEND......
(legend face)
YOU GON' DIE!
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