When Lainey and I were the respective ages of 9 (me) and 7 (Lainey), we happened upon a Gary Larson (The Far Side) cartoon entitled "the boss' kid," where a kid had his face pressed up to a workers window, clearly being an annoying filth monster. Lainey and I decided this was boring, and thought "the boss' Squid" would be much more amusing.
We talked about it for hours. We even made up a hand gesture.
What you do, is put the back of the hand to your mouth. And guess what?! It looks remarkably like a Squid, the most Squid-like one can get without actually making a costume. See??
Thus the love of Squid begins. For years I think that this ridiculous love affair is only something Lainey and I can secretly talk about in the cone of silence. But one day, 19 years later, I'm sitting at work reading something about the Colossal Squid on National Geographic's website, and I say something like this (I'm sure it was a little more tame, but not much)
"The Colossal Squid is a majestic celestial being of the cosmos..."
.....suddenly, a voice pierces the silence of the most ridiculous comment ever made.
"I. Love. Squidzzzzz!!!!!" - says my coworker Cori. NO WAY!!!!!! Someone ELSE? Seemingly NORMAL? Also shares the love of the Squid???
Then, we suddenly were on an aircraft carrier in the middle of the ocean in super hero suits like....the Mighty Morphen Power Rangers. I was the yellow one. And we tapped rings together like in Captain Planet!!! And a giant squid came up in hologram form and gave us instructions on how to further the mission of squiddom.
Jay kay, we just talked about Squids.
You'd think a Squid-related conversation could only go on so long, but I'm pretty sure Cori and I droned on about their majesty for at least an hour. She's even knitted squid hats for a friend's baby! And they're freaking awesome, I might add.
Look people, you may be shaking your head with your mouth hanging open at this point, but you know what? If you don't like Squid, you're a loser. Yep, I said it! Here's why - they are a mystery of the deep.
A MYSTERY!!! Of the DEEP!!!
What we know of just how giant these guys get is from what washes up on shore. Because they're that mysterious. And anything THAT mysterious is cool.
Also, we know what little we know from suction cup imprints found on sperm whales, who dive up to 4,000 feet - where my mind assumes they have EPIC battles with the most giant of Squid. Like, King Kong v. Aquadrillicus. I'm not sure if you've seen that, but if you haven't you must - it haunted my dreams as a child. And I was super sad because Aquadrillicus lost. I mean, clearly he loses because they fight on land. If they duked it out in the water, you better believe King Kong would go DOWN! That's how they do it you see, they suction cup your FACE and drag you down to Davy Jones' locker!! AND EEECHU!
I feel much the same, however slightly lesser, about the octopus.
octopus <-------------------------doesn't deserve capitalization.
I have SEEN (on you tube) an octopus attack a shark and eat it. It was awesome.
1. Because I hate sharks. <-----A constantly moving mouth with razor teeth, that has no purpose but to eat. You. Just google the SS Indianapolis.
2. Because the octopus just kind of sits on top of the shark and digests it in a way that I will never understand.
Also, octopuses (it's not octopi, SAD!) like shiny things. They collect them and hide them. Just like me!!! I see shiny jewelry, it could be cheap, it could be Harry Winston. Either way, I'm stopping to look at it.
There are people out there who feel about the octopus as I feel about the Squid - and they totally have a website.
www.tonmo.com
Okay, enough of this. You get the point.
post script - is Squid the plural of Squid?? Hmm.
Yessssssss!!!!! Squidz 4 Eva!!!!!
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