Miasma Update

I have several metaphor vehicles that I routinely employ in illustration of how I regard my life. My favorite happens to be, apart from a miasma that is, that of an airport. I picture myself blundering about this figurative airport, encountering cancellations, gate changes, delays, transfers and the like. Perhaps one day I'll get out of it, but in the mean time I'm in a perpetual state of being in transition from one place in life to another without having found a place to drop my bags and unpack.

Having said that, I'm coming to yet another major junction in my figurative travels. In August, I will be moving to Alpine. Sound familiar? If not, you are welcome to go HERE to see my first miasma post or to refresh your memory. In October of last year, I decided to (as if this is unusual) run a life evaluation to see where I was in my scale of success. As usual I was falling short - and I'll do you the honor of illustrating. If you would have asked me as a senior in high school, here's what I would have told you my life was going to be like.

2001: Graduate high school


2005: Graduate college magna cum laude


? Years of study in the WILDS of some rainforest collecting LARGE QUANTITIES OF GROUND-BREAKING IMPORTANT BIOLOGICAL DATA!


Marriage (approx age 26)


Babies


More working and getting LARGE AMOUNTS OF FOLDIN' CASH

=



Age 50 = retirement and touring Europe with friends smoking fancy cigarettes out of those long tubes like Audrey Hepburn uses in Breakfast at Tiffany's and drinking white wine spritzers.




Sounds pretty great, right?

Well, it totally didn't happen that way. Between 2001 and 2005 I encountered a lot of really difficult obstacles (not of my own design) that threw me into my airport jail that's lasted until 2011. But I'm about to embark with my few successes (Kevin and Amelia) to Alpine to finally finish my stupid degree. Don't get me wrong, I'm enthusiastic, but finishing like 10 years behind what you had anticipated is pretty disappointing no matter the excuses. And you might think that (what, with all of the spare time I have had to plan out where I'll end up in the future) I'd have it all figured out.... but I don't. I have absolutely no idea what to do after this degree business is finally finished.

Plan as of now: finish in 1 year and throw a billion resumes out to the wind and hope that it blows me in the right direction.

I was pretty sure I wanted to move back to Amarillo, but really I just don't know. Is it a great place to raise a family? Yes. Does it maybe have too much of a tie to my past and therefore might hinder my ability to continue to grow as a person and allow me to dwell on things that have caused me great sadness in the past? Yes. Do I have some stellar friends there that I would love to be around and watch our children grow together? Yes. But at the same time would that be depressing to see all of their families surrounding them there, where I no longer have any? Yes.

So here I am (as Kaki would say in her blog post titles).... having no idea whatsoever.

All I know is that on August 21st I'll be in a new place. Wish me luck! And send me ideas about where I can live afterward...

Also - I'll be posting another story next week that's vastly more interesting (and scandalous) that this and my previous post.