Yes, seriously.
I think his name sprang from having a first and middle name both beginning with the letter P, but regardless - the man opted to go by Pee Pee. He kind of looked like Jesus. Or maybe Jason Lee in the film Big Trouble.
Shanda and I decided we wanted to dress up for Halloween. Now, Shanda and I used to dress up for regular parties during college, so we were looking for something exceptional. I remember dressing up as batman and spiderman for some random keg slash fraternity party. It was amazing. We also had these white velcro tennis shoes that we had everybody sign. It was a hilarious night - I desperately wish I had pictures.
Anyway, this story begins at Electric Lady Land/Lucy In Disguise with Diamonds, which is a completely bizarre costume shop in Austin on Congress. Perhaps you've seen it? It's hard to miss.
Here's the scene:
Shanda and I are perusing costumes, and I'm ranting on about how I think it's key that we go as dinosaurs or dragons. Shanda was opting for giant fruit. Then, we find the perfect costume. GRAPES. She the purple, I the green. The thing is - grapes are a difficult selection to try on. So we stake out this giant dressing room and wait, wait, wait, wait for the person inside to come out. We wait so long that we decide it must be unoccupied. Shanda, being braver than me when it comes to disturbing someone in a dressing room, finally flings open the fabric curtain door. We see something like this -
It was Pee Pee Jones. Standing on his head. In a cape and a bat mask. He'd been silently plotting this escapade for weeks, and we were the unfortunate people who happened upon him. It scared me immediately, I was not prepared to see a ridiculous fool upside down in a dressing room. I stepped backwards and fell through a round rack of frilly skirts. Shanda stared at him with angry hate-filled eyes, and then doubled over laughing.
It took little more than introductions before Pee Pee engaged us in his mission. The night was somewhat of a blur, but I distinctly remember going with him and watching him randomly start dancing at people as they got out of their cars to go into walmart. Bat mask and all. And the man could dance. If he had never removed that bat mask I would have thought he was Michael Jackson.
As the evening raged on, our walmart funtimes turned into a random party he'd been invited to. You have no idea what it's like to walk into a party and hear PEE PEE is HERE!!!! And then get bum-rushed by a group of crazed Pee Pee Jones fans. PEEEEE PEEEEEEEEEE!
There was this girl, super cute dress and stiletto heels, somewhat out of place at this hipster party - that saw Pee Pee from across the room. In a whirlwind of excitement she ran to see him and slipped on an unseen puddle on the wooden floor. She skidded, then cascaded into the crowd of Pee Pee fans, knocking half of them over - including me. At first I was a little put-out, but the scene leading up to the fall was too hilarious to not appreciate.
Side note - it's funny, because even if you know the guy, no matter what you do when you tell a story about him it still sounds like you're talking about, well, you know.
I'll never forget a particular stunt Pee Pee told me he used to pull. Every time he stepped onto an elevator he would turn and face the back. He had a special affinity for doing this in full elevators, where there were a bunch of uncomfortable men in suits. He would stand there, looking all weird and Jesusy, staring at them. He wouldn't move when the doors would open. He would make people go around him. I've always wanted to try it, but I've not yet overcome the fear. Nor have I mustered the strength to just stare people blankly in the face, and have them return the glance with terror that I might be a gunman with bad intentions. Maybe some day.
Shanda hung out with him a few times, and I know they had crazy adventures. She told me what they were, but I can no longer remember a lot of my fuzzy college times. Perhaps she'll add to this post?
I never saw Pee Pee again. But I know he's out there, bat masking it up. He was a cool guy. Find the Pee Pee in yourself, friends. And....don't take that the wrong way.
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