So for those who have no clue who I am, other than this person who writes ridiculous stories, you may be wondering who all these people are that I'm talking about. Initially I thought about not using names, but then I figured it would get kind of obnoxious if I just kept using "my friend" instead of their actual name. So I've mentioned Shanda, Lainey, Elaine, Lisa, and Omar....and of course my husband Kevin....and etc. I will never give any more background on these folks other than what's relevant to the story. So since you don't know them, feel free to use the creative process to invent whatever details about them you'd like. A few new people will be introduced in this story, so enjoy. That is all.
Adolph C. Hunt. The name sounds fabricated, I know. But it's not. Adolph, well, the problem with that name is definitely self-explanatory. But the letter C being so close to the word Hunt just begs to be made fun of. The whole name is rather unnerving, if you ask me, and that's precisely where the story begins.
I was hanging out with Shanda one day, and she excused herself from the room to make a phone call. She came back, and I asked who she was speaking with. Her words: "Adolph C. Hunt, he's this guy I prank call." I starred at her blankly. "Excuse me, what?" I said. "Yes," she said, "a guy I just decided to prank call. I had to, his name is Adolph C. Hunt."
She informed me that she had been looking up a number in the phone book (remember when we used to use those?) and had run across the name, and found it irresistible. She then began the odyssey of oh-so-fabulous prank calls, that had been going on for a considerable amount of time.
I was beyond intrigued by this. And naturally, I felt like I had to do it too. I asked "what do you say when you call him?"
Shanda, oh Shanda. God love Shanda.
Shanda said, "I just sing 'I like to move it move it' over and over in a man voice." It took me quite some time to collect myself after hearing this, but I managed. Then I spent a moment trying to provoke a sense of calm before calling Adolph myself.
Adreneline pumping (yes, I excite easily) I picked up the phone and dialed. When he picked up the phone, in the background I heard the loud sounds of a football game and a bunch of rustling that suggested that Adolph had dropped the phone. A second later, a voice at the other end says "FUHBALL" as a form of a greeting. FUHBALL??? Do you seriously answer your phone during football season by saying FUHBALL? This completely caught me off guard, and immediately sent me into a fit of the giggles. I had to hang up. Clearly this Adolph fellow was a curious fig, and definitely an out-of-control football fan.
Moments later, I call again.
Adolph: "FUHHHHBALL!!"
Me: I like to move-it-move-it I like to move-it-move-it I like to move-it-move-it I like to move-it-move-it.....(pause)
Adolph: WHO THE HELL IS THIS, DAMN IT
Me: (pause)
Adolph: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE, I'LL CALL THE COPS
Me: I like to move-it-move-it I like to move-it-move-it I like to move-it-move-it I like to move-it-move-it.....MOVE IT!
Adolph: AH GAAD DAMMIT!!!! (click)
Shanda and I, who of course did this on speaker phone, then proceeded to roll on the floor convulsing with laughter. That was it. I was addicted.
News of the Adolph C. Hunt prank call spread throughout our group like wildfire. Everyone wanted in on this, it was just too entertaining to not love. We would have what were just short of Adolph prank calling parties....and the amount of people calling grew and grew.
I remember on nights we were bored, Betsy and I would drive around in her sister Sally's land rover and use one of those old school car cellulars to call Adolph on speaker phone. Over, and over and over. Adolph hated us. It was awesome.
Finally, by the time next football season rolled around, Adolph had decided it was enough. He answered the phone with his usual salutation, and when he heard "I LIKE TO MOVE-IT-MOVE-IT!!!" start up again, a spring sprung. He was finished. He held a number button on the phone down so it beeped loudly enough that we stopped to see what was going on. Betsy, Greg and I were the culprits in this situation, and had three-way dialed Adolph. We were always careful to block our number. This time, however, we had failed. He threatened his usual threat - but this time with a renewed fervor, saying "I HAVE YOUR NUMBER NOW YOU LITTLE BASTARDS! I'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE!!!!"
Sweet precious mother of God.
He called Greg back, and a police officer was on the line. He wanted to file charges on us for harassment, and we were all going down in flames.
Luckily, and much to our surprise, the police officer seemed more amused than upset. He made us all apologize to dear old Adolph, and swear that we wouldn't do it again upon pains of imprisonment. We did all of the above without complaint, for we had been sure we were going to jail. I look back at it now and laugh, like, yeah right! Who would put teenagers in jail for prank calling a guy named Adolph?!
I'm sure Adolph C. Hunt has long since left this life, but he will not soon be forgotten. And that being said, I will be sending out evites to host a Skype prank calling party. God knows there surely is somebody named Adolph C. Hunt somewhere in the world that is just dying to be harassed. Let the legend live on.
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