My Nemesis, the Silk Worm

I walk to work most days because it's close to my house. Might as well, especially keeping in mind the desire for fast and severe weight loss (I'm a bridesmaid at a beach wedding in May). Though I doubt walking 3 miles will contribute much to that.

Anyway, if you know me, you know that my not-so-secret dream profession would be to become an Entomologist. What's that you say? Why, it is one who studies insects. My whole life I've been obsessed with bugs of all kinds. When I was little, I used to go to my back yard and collect them. My favorite insect to collect was the cicada.


This is a cicada in the nymph stage. They do not fly, they just toodle around with a hard exoskeleton until one day they decide to climb up a tree and hatch, much like a butterfly. Then they'll sit there on top of their shells waiting for their wings to dry, and then they look like this.



You don't have to tell me how amazing that is. I already know. I loved to watch this process growing up - it was absolutely fascinating to me. But one day, I was shocked out of my reverie when I witnessed something despicable.

A BIRD SWOOPED OUT OF THE SKY AND ATE A CICADA FRIEND OF MINE BEFORE HE WAS EVEN DONE DRYING HIS WINGS!!!



Abhorrent filth! At least give the cicada a fighting chance..... BAD FORM! As a child I was stricken at the thought of these cicadas, whose life span was so very short, being picked off before they even had a chance to explore the wondrous skies. So, in my lil brain, I formed a plan to ensure the proliferation of my insect friends.

The next morning I woke up with a start. I reached under my bed, and grabbed my caboodle. Yes. My caboodle. Remember those?



In an attempt to beat the birds, I ran around my back yard and then, once that was done, the neighborhood like the Tasmanian devil collecting hatching cicadas and putting them my caboodle, proclaiming "they will be safe, by GOD!"



Now...erm....all the cicadas in my caboodle died because I forgot about them. But hey, I tried.

Anyway, now you know of my love for bugs. But to get back on task about walking to work and such...

Naturally when one takes the time to walk, they tend to pay more close attention to their surroundings. But traffic is also a factor to contend with, and thus distraction by said surroundings must be kept to a moderate level. So every time I walk, I look around to make sure I'm not going to be squashed by cars... because that's what you should do when walking. But lately, I've been having run-ins with something else entirely. Worms.

Every time I look another way, while walking, they come out of nowhere and slap me right in the face. Let me illustrate how:



Tree worms. With their little silk lines, decide to just hang in mid air. And when your attention is captured by something else, there they are. Right in your face going "oh heyyyyy, y'all ran into my silk!"

Every five seconds. I swear. I'm looking at the ground...



"Oh heyyyyy! Y'all need to watch out cuz yew ruinin' my silk!!"

Looking at a car that just slammed on its breaks...



"Oh heyyyy, y'all really need to look where yew walk!"

Looking at some trees in bloom...



"Oh heyyyyy, I guess y'all didn't see me! Here I am in your hair now!"

Now as much as I love bugs, even worms, I'm about to take these little em-effers out. I swear, I'm one step away from bringing a blow torch with me. So if you live in Austin, or anywhere where these guys reside....watch out.....



"Ima getchuuu y'all!"